Oh my! It is 2007 and this morning I woke up and suddenly realised I had forgotten something.....In those hazy morning waking minutes I remembered that I had always planned (amongst other things), to be a rock star? A Rock Star! I clearly remembered that I was absolutely certain that I was going to be THE Rock Goddess of Rock Goddesses! Why else would I have practiced with my hairbrush microphone for hours and hours in front of the mirror? Can it possibly be that all that commitment was wasted? I had so perfected that cheeky sideways glance at the camera that I had seen Annie Lennox do...I had just about got it. That sort of coquettish look? Perfect! What about that book in which I had put together all my designs for my very "interesting" stage clothes? The only thing I hadn't actually practiced was learning how to sing or play a musical instrument. Not that either of those are important really if you want to be a Rock Goddess I told myself. There was one other rather large tiny glitch along my Rock Goddess career path - I was podgy. Now I have to admit it to myself that "Podgy",without Mama Cass's voice, is a bit of a liability for the dream girl I had created in my plans.
Between you and me, the truth is that I sort of decided I had better put the Rock Goddess thingy on hold until I had a bit of free time to learn the guitar and/or sing (anything that would distract from the podgy thingy - interestingly dieting was not even considered ) and when I could do that I would be idyllically happy and every one would idolise me and THEN I would take off some weight and go to the gym. So I popped the design book in the bottom of the wardrobe, used the hairbrush for brushing my hair and did a few other things that didn't actually need me to learn an instrument nor put together a wardrobe of leopard skin tights shiny pants and gold lame revealing tops. But always hovering in the background was my secret plan to be famous and the diva I always knew I really was.......
Life went on I distracted myself by living it -I amused myself with things like going to university and working. The children's dreams of greatness became my dreams. My hairbrush microphone technique became a little rusty and a little too 60's. My dreams got pushed under further with each partner and each year. I happily drove my daughters to cello lessons and swimming classes and I enjoyed spending evenings doing things long forgotten.
And now here I am waking up in 2007 in my 60th year and I have only just remembered that I have never stood on a stage (apart from running workshops or in my ballet school concert when I was 6) . Never once have I worn too tight leopard skin pants and a gold lame top.
But this is 2007 and all doors are open. I can't help but think that if I want to be a rock star then a husky 60 year old voice might just be the thing......as soon as I learn the guitar I think I might just do it! I know I can find that old hairbrush somewhere. And while I am looking for the hairbrush I have a suspicion that some other hidden dreams might just bubble to the surface... I just can't wait.